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posted:
1/8/2012 5:35:11 PM
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Sunglasses
rank: 1353
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Ellie shudders, feels the blackness around her constricting her and limiting her movement, stealing her air.
But she wasalways a brave soul, always one stand against the pressure of what others call desolation.
So Ellie attempts this technique they call 'breathing.'
The air, feeling like glaze cast upon a still lake, refuses to touch ground with her lungs, leaving her with a feeling like burnt butter - what was supposed to be beautiful and pure, turned into a miasma of abhorrence.
With the charred CO2 pulsing in her pounding veins, something pops.
Wishes are for the unsatisfied, says she, and she falls.
I assume this would be free verse poetry but... One can never be too sure. :3
I'm backish! I assume most of you don't remember/know me but... you can call me Yugi.
Comments and constructive criticism is welcomed!
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Ellie shudders, feels the blackness around her constricting her and limiting her movement, stealing her air.
But she wasalways a brave soul, always one stand against the pressure of what others call desolation.
So Ellie attempts this technique they call 'breathing.'
The air, feeling like glaze cast upon a still lake, refuses to touch ground with her lungs, leaving her with a feeling like burnt butter - what was supposed to be beautiful and pure, turned into a miasma of abhorrence.
With the charred CO2 pulsing in her pounding veins, something pops.
Wishes are for the unsatisfied, says she, and she falls.
I assume this would be free verse poetry but... One can never be too sure. :3
I'm backish! I assume most of you don't remember/know me but... you can call me Yugi.
Comments and constructive criticism is welcomed!
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posted:
3/3/2012 7:40:17 PM
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Schoolsout
rank: 5765
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Welcome back Yugi! I love the imagery that you can portray with your words.
Do you mind me asking, who this 'Ellie' is? And what inspired you to write this?
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Welcome back Yugi! I love the imagery that you can portray with your words.
Do you mind me asking, who this 'Ellie' is? And what inspired you to write this?
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posted:
4/13/2012 7:07:43 PM
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Sunglasses
rank: 1353
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(Dono if that last message got posted... Apparently, pressing enter = post message. .__. )
Thanks, Promy. c:
I was trying to portray Ellie as the timid, artistic girl that all schools have. (I hope so, at least.) Because of her very non-existent courage, she has little strength, and is easy to succumb to small unlucky moments.
And my inspiration? That's hard, haha, I wrote this a long time ago... I think it came from my friend's mother's recent death. I was trying to imagine how she must feel, losing her mom and all.
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(Dono if that last message got posted... Apparently, pressing enter = post message. .__. )
Thanks, Promy. c:
I was trying to portray Ellie as the timid, artistic girl that all schools have. (I hope so, at least.) Because of her very non-existent courage, she has little strength, and is easy to succumb to small unlucky moments.
And my inspiration? That's hard, haha, I wrote this a long time ago... I think it came from my friend's mother's recent death. I was trying to imagine how she must feel, losing her mom and all.
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